How to Harden the Fuck Up and Be Awesome

It has been exactly 5 months and 16 days since I posted my last blog. I know I wrote my first post back in March after my big European adventure and even then it took me a while to post something new, but never this long. Anyone that has come within a 100-ft radius of me would know that a lot of things have happened to me in that last five months primarily on a personal level – and truthfully that was one of the catalysts for what has happened since- but at the start of May I became extremely disillusioned about everything – my identity, my life and my career. Everything for me had been so structured and starting my job (which I absolutely adore, don’t get me wrong) was the first time in my life where there were no clear plans set out for me. I just felt lost.

After finally having the balls to chat to my mentor about it, I discovered that I had something called the ‘Graduate Blues’. According to Google it is something that students get after they graduate because they are nervous and anxious about the road ahead. This is true in some sense but personally I didn’t really feel nervous that it was going to take me x years to get to management or anything like that – it was more about defining myself and after discovering that what I had wanted to define myself at work was what others had wanted to define themselves as too. The reason I wanted to write this blog was because as much as Google can help, it doesn’t really have much information about how to overcome the graduate blues once you get into a job. Usually it happens after about 12-18 months, but I got mine after about 4 or 5 months, so really it is extremely contextual. But here’s what helped me get over the graduate blues:

1. Find the Wall – When you have the graduate blues, it feels like there is this massive glass wall in front of you and you can see through it but can’t get around or on top of it. You need to work out why that wall exists to work out the best plan of attack for breaking it down.
2. Don’t Pressure Yourself – If you don’t feel like doing anything for a day and sitting in bed - do it. Don’t force yourself to start anything new because you need to. Having some downtime – no matter how long it is – and understanding that it is downtime will help you see the bigger picture and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
3. Talk- Let your friends know how you are feeling and let them help you. I was surprised that two of my closest work friends had been through the same process as me and were able to give me fantastic tips about what I was going through – you don’t discover these things if you keep it bottled up.
4. Take Your Time – There is no set time for you to get over the graduate blues and don’t rush it because it’s not going to happen
   overnight. One day you will wake up and be like ‘I can do this now’ or something will click and you will have your motivation again.
5. Find New Goals - Find something new and interesting and cool to be involved with. By no means turn your backs on your original goals
   but add new weapons to your collection to help break down the wall.

It’s taken me a while to get to a stage where I am motivated to write a blog again and I feel that the worst of the graduate blues is over for me (so hopefully this will mean more blog posts). But it’s more of a process than anything else. Looking back on it and writing about it now, it may seem like I had some form of depression – I don’t know whether depression is the right word, but if you are looking at this and are feeling like you are depressed, please contact LifeLine or your equivalent to speak to someone. But I guess the big question is ’what’s next?’ It’s just taking my time and working on growing my awesome levels so they are higher than what they were before the whole graduate blues thing happened. Finally, I don’t think I could write this blog without everyone and anyone that helped and supported me through this. You know who you are (and I know who you are, don’t worry!!) but I wouldn’t be in the place that I am in now without you letting me bitch to you about everything under the sun. I sincerely and truly do appreciate it and I’m happy to know I have friends like you in the world.